Happy Birthday Toni

My dear friend, Toni, is celebrating her 91st birthday today, July 29th. Toni was my neighbor for five years, until I moved to Florida last September, and our relationship is a special one. Toni is a widow, she has one married son and two grandchildren. She has no other family and all of her close friends have died.

She doesn't like to cook, and I enjoy cooking and serving people, so I would invite her to dinner as often as our schedule would allow. After dinner she always cleared the table and helped clean up before we had dessert. Often, I would make extra to send home with her for the next day. Dinners at my house became the highlight of her otherwise solitary life and she sang our praises to anyone who would stay still long enough to listen. I often included her in visits with my grandsons and during the summer she would swim in the pool with them. She took care of me in very neighborly ways. Each week she deposited the community paper in my mailbox, she gathered my mail when I went away and kept a watch out for my home, she didn't like gardening so I planted flowers for the both of us and she watered it faithfully. One memorable service she performed for us was on the day of my daughter's wedding. Laurie has a little dog, Toby, and we needed a sitter for him on that day. I asked Toni if she would take him for a walk in the evening for us. "I've never walked a dog in my life but I would be happy to learn," she said. And the day before Laurie's wedding Toni came to take Toby for a practice walk! She did a very good job (she ended up taking him for several walks throughout the day) and thanked us for trusting her with Toby.

We only visited by phone over the winter. I reserved my short winter trips to NJ for my children, grandchildren and siblings.

Since June, when I returned to NJ, I have visited with her weekly. Other than one lunch at a local restaurant, each week she provides and serves lunch for us at her house. She insists on doing all the work, she obviously enjoys taking care of me. Other than a visit from her son once every three weeks for about an hour, I am the only company she gets - and,I suspect, I am the only one who hugs her.

The first week I visited, she told me the bad news of having been diagnosed with breast cancer and that nothing can be (or will be) done. The doctor has not told her how long she has left to live. She is still quite surprised that she has cancer - she's had good health all her life, she exercised regularly, instructed a yoga class for seniors for the past 25 years, and maintained a healthy, nutritious diet.

She says that my moving away was the first bad thing to happen to her. Her oncology appointment was scheduled for the day after I moved. When she told me about the cancer, she said "First you moved, then I found out I had cancer".

She told me that her hot water heater leaked and needed to be replaced. She began by saying, "First you moved..."

She had a problem with her heat and needed to call an electrician. She said, "First you moved..."

Her smoke alarm went off during the night last April - she called 911 and they summoned the fire department. She told me about this incident by saying, "First you moved..."

I know she cares about me and misses me very much. She has told me more than once she thinks of me as the daughter she never had. I care about her, too.

She talks incessantly when I visit. About her life, past and present. She is Jewish and left Germany in 1941 - an "organization" safely delivered her and her husband to Switzerland and they stayed there for a year until their quota number came up and they were allowed to immigrate to the US. She said recently she saw a woman her age, a Holocaust survivor, on TV. She told me that the woman talked about things she saw during that time. Toni's eyes were bright as she looked past me and said thoughtfully, "I saw those things too". We stayed silent for some time then.

I have been concerned about Toni's eternal home and the Lord provided a beautiful opportunity for me to share the gospel with Toni and tell her about Jesus, the Messiah. She listened intently and then I asked her if she would take time to think about the possibility of Jesus being the Messiah. She said she would think about it and I believe she has and is still considering the answers I gave to her questions. That is my responsibility, the rest is God's. He is faithful to be found by those who call upon Him.

If you think of her, please pray for Toni. Pray that she will receive Jesus as Savior/Messiah. Pray that her son and daughter-in-law and grandchildren will make the most of the time she has left and spend it with her. That is the desire of her heart, to be with the very small family she has. She asked me to pray that God, in His mercy, would take her in her sleep.

Beach Days

I love the beach. I can sit and watch the ocean for hours (and I do).
It puts me in a good mood. It's a natural "attitude adjustment".
The sound of the breaking waves relaxes me.
I get renewed and refreshed when I am there.
I think about our God who created the oceans and declared them good and that amazes me.

I enjoy watching the birds skimming over the water, spying out food just below the surface, then swooping down and coming up with a fish tail wiggling out of the side of their mouth.

I enjoy watching children look for hermit crabs as the surf recedes. The crabs act as though someone has just opened the door to their dressing room and they run for cover. The kids squeal with delight when they spot one - then audibly sigh with disappointment once it burrows back into the sand.

I like finding sea glass, I pick up the chips and slivers and bring them home to add to my jar. Sometimes pieces are sharp and angled and I throw them back for more time to weather.

I am always on the lookout for unusual shells.

I love the way my feet sink down into the sand when the surf pulls back. I like the feel of the foamy surf sizzling around my feet and ankles.

I love bringing my grandsons to the beach. I began taking John, the oldest, when he was 15 months old. Jeremy, John, and I could easily become beach bums. We take Joe with us once in a while. He exhibits great beach bum potential. Can't wait for baby Tom to join us.
Sometimes I put my chair right at the edge of the surf. There I can relax and keep cool as I watch the boys boogie board or body surf. I even like having to yank my chair out of the sand later.

I love sitting on the beach with my husband. We sit and be quiet together and feel close. We walk along the shoreline and talk. His father taught him how to swim in the ocean as a young boy and he will swim beyond the breakers for a long while and then body surf like a 10 year old. Watching him from my chair or the shore is my form of fun. Sometimes I join him in the water and he makes it his responsibility to keep me afloat above the waves, watching me closely.

I love going to the beach when there is a storm. I am afraid and in awe of the powerful, huge waves. It is fearsome and exciting to watch and listen as the waves pound and crash.

I watch fishermen as they bait their hooks and cast their lines, waiting patiently for a tug on their line as they sidestep waves washing over the jetty. I enjoy watching the dance as they bring in a fish, then the subtle glances to see how many witnessed their success.

Surfers come out when it is high tide. I believe this is something that only looks easy. The paddling they do just doesn't seem worth the short ride. The surfers don't keep my attention for long unless there is one who is very good. By that I mean get up and stay up a while.(The first date I went on with my husband was to see Endless Summer and I fell asleep.)

My son left his job in the city to do what he loves - water, boats, warm weather. He went to Ft. Lauderdale, FL 18 months ago to work on a boat. He is currently the First Mate on a yacht and working toward a Captain's License. He literally lives on the ocean. I think of him when I look out, wondering how he is doing, praying for him, missing him.

I think of the Psalms in which David sings praises to God and tells of His greatness.

"I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,

And on Your wondrous works." Psalm 145:5

Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords! For His mercy endures forever.

Tagged By Gina

I've been tagged. Gina tagged me. Being new to the blogosphere, I will do what I think this requires. That is, follow the pattern using personal information.
So, here it goes:
10 years ago - I was helping plan and looking forward to the wedding of my daughter, Laney. She wanted her whole family involved in her plans and I cherish the memories of those days. Laney included her dad and brother in the wedding gown shopping, all five of us went to the bridal salon! My husband had just retired (early buyout) from the police department and his part time video production business was evolving into a full time effort. I was very busy working with him as his secretary/bookkeeper/video editor. I also had a daughter in college and my son was a sophomore in high school.
5 years ago - I was adjusting to the dramatic changes that had taken place in my life in the last year (barely hanging on is a more apt description). We had sold our home and moved into a condo in an adult community. It was the saddest, lonliest, most confusing time of my life that God used to show me His power and grace. God gives beauty for ashes!
1 year ago - I was making still greater changes. I was preparing to leave my job as Church Office Administrator, packing up our NJ condo, which we sold, getting ready to move into our Florida condo permanantly. Leaving my daughters and grandsons was extremely difficult -- God's grace abounds!
Yesterday - I took three of my favorite men for lunch, John, Jeremy and Joe. I visited my former employer (who is also my former pastor) saw some old friends and shopped the Macy's One Day sale with my daughters at night.
Today - I had lunch with my daughters and four of my favorite men, John, Jeremy, Joe and Tom. I had dinner at a dear friend's home and was treated like royalty.
5 snacks I enjoy: Ice cream, potato chips, chocolate, Swedish Fish, Snickers
5 bands I know most of the lyrics of their songs: Australian Hillsongs Praise Band, Glad (a group, not really a band) Rich Mullins' Raggamuffin Band, The Beatles
Things I would Do with 100 million dollars: Take care of my children, give back to God as He leads, travel, probably have my eyes "done".
5 bad habits I have: I am not punctual, I am almost always running late. I have a tendency to interrupt when people talk rather than wait until they are finished. I run my car on near empty, I hate stopping for gas. I ignore my stomach when it says "I've had enough". I have a difficult time saying no to my grandsons.
5 locations I would run away to:The beach, any beach. The place my husband wants to run to. Nice, or another spot on the Riviera. Paris. Italy.
5 things I would never wear: Spandex. My husband's underwear. Pointed shoes. Too much make-up. Knee highs rolled down to the ankles.
5 things I like doing: helping people, leading Bible studies, speaking to women, walking, spending time with my children.
5 biggest joys of the moment: hearing the laughter of my grandchildren, watching my children and listening as they enjoy each other's company, my husband giving me a wink from across the room, church worship time, watching people respond to Christ.
5 famous people I would like to meet: George Bush, Denzel Washington, Margaret Thatcher, Jeb Bush, Bob Coy
5 movies I like: Notting Hill, Ray, Trains Planes & Automobiles, The Cutting Edge, As Good As It Gets.
5 TV Shows I like: I don't watch TV
5 favorite toys: computer, my portable CD player, my scrapbooking tools
5 people I tag: Be forewarned- this takes longer to do than it looks!

I tag Sleepless in Oklahoma, Jess, Laney and Jules.

Where Am I?

Walking is exercise I enjoy the most. I try to walk for an hour every day. I walk anywhere, in any weather condition. I prefer walking outside looking at all the sights, homes, lawns, gardens, flowers, people. I will walk indoors on a treadmill only when desperate because it's boring. I have a NJ friend who walks too, and when I am in NJ, we walk together as much as schedules will allow. We are like postmen, "Neither rain, nor sleet ...

Last Friday my friend, Linda, left town for the week-end so I was on my own. Laney and I made plans for the day. I was to walk from 8:15 to 9:15 am and then she would take a 9:30 aerobic class at her gym while I stayed with her boys. Laney told me to walk the route she usually runs. She said, go down to the corner and turn right, then turn left at the next corner, at the next corner turn right and then go to the end and turn left. Take that road down to the fork and turn right, go to Heritage Hills and that will be 2 miles, then come back. Got it, no problem. I did what she said all the way there and found my way.

WELL!!! Now I had to return! I got to the fork and forgot to turn left (truthfully, I didn't even think of where I was going, I just kept walking straight). After a while the sights were unfamiliar so I made a left turn. I ended up walking in a big circle. I was feeling anxious. I usually bring my cell phone along but this morning, because the battery was dead, it was recharging in my car. I tried a few more streets and they seemed just as unfamiliar and, choosing prayer over panic, I asked the Lord to direct my steps and get me back to Laney’s. It had to have been the wings of the Almighty that got me there. I was amazed when I turned on the street that I recognized as "home". Thank you, Lord.

As I approached the house, Jeremy was outside waiting with little Joe. Not a good thing, I thought. Then Laney came out with John. She seemed upset. Are you ready to leave? What time is it? 9:30! Oh, no! No aerobic class for her today. Aawwhhh. I was upset because I got lost, I was so glad to be back and I was fighting tears. I didn't want to cry in front of the grandsons who were looking at me strangely. There seemed to be a role reversal between Laney and me. I was the irresponsible, delinquent child and she was the disapproving guardian. I was also embarrassed. I do things like that (not give adequate attention to details) more often than I like to admit. I just walked and walked without giving my return route a single thought! I amaze myself at how I just don't THINK!

"I'm sorry, so sorry, you missed your class," I said. "Is there anything I can do now?", I asked. Laney said it was ok and no, she would just stay home. I left her house and went to Laurie's, who immediately noticed something was wrong. When I told her I got lost, she was so sympathetic I began to cry. I showered at Laurie's and felt a bit better. Just a short time later, Laney called to find out how I was and told me how worried she had been, and how relieved she was that I was all right. (I think I was right about the role reversal. I remember being worried almost sick about one or the other of my kids' safety and then they would show up and be perfectly fine and I would need to make an attitude adjustment which sometimes took a while.)

I would like to say that this episode is becoming a distant memory but - that's not the case. Laney's husband, Kevin, knows about the incident and he loves to tease me. Since that day, if I call the house and he answers or when I leave his house, he says "Make a left!" And Laney has said, more than once, you should blog about getting lost, Mom, it's funny!
Yeh, to her!